Meredith Corporation has just launched its first ever long-form newsletter: NSFW(ish) on sex, love, and relationships.. It goes out to about 215K subscribers every week and is a shared product across SHAPE, InStyle, HelloGiggles, Health and Parent. You can sign up here: https://x.specialoffers.meredith.com/ats/show.aspx?cr=588&fm=318&regSource=11190.

Maria del Russo, a writer who specializes in relationships and wellness, writes the newsletter. She interviews my client Dr. Sheila Loanzon, OBGYN, for the March 26 issue.

Protecting yourself (and others) from contracting an STI just comes with the territory of being a responsible, sexually active human. And let's be clear: Even "safe" sex isn't guaranteed to protect you 100 percent of the time. But despite the frequency and commonality of these cases, simply talking about STIs—and discussing positive diagnoses—still carry pretty grim stigmas.

This week, I address the issue head-on with Kecia Gaither, M.D., M.P.H., double-board certified in ob-gyn and maternal fetal medicine and director of perinatal services at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln and Sheila Loanzon, M.D., ob-gyn and author of Yes, I Have Herpes: A Gynecologist's Perspective In and Out of the Stirrups. Settle in (we're not going anywhere!) you won’t want to miss any of the below.

I've never been tested, and haven't had any issues with STIs. My new partner says they won't have sex with me until I get screened. TBH, I'm kind of freaked out by someone looking…down there. What happens in a test, anyway? Is it really that important?

Yes, it really is that important. Not to make it about coronavirus, but if we've learned anything from the pandemic, it's the importance of testing. STIs don't always present symptoms, either. And even if you do have symptoms, you might not be aware of them given their usual real estate. Case in point: Around 90 percent of people with genital herpes don't know they have it, reports the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA).

What's more, it's in your best interest—regardless of whether you're currently getting busy or not—to have an annual check-in with your ob-gyn to make sure that everything is business as usual down there. In a normal exam, the doctor looks for all sorts of things like signs of ovarian cysts, early indicators for certain types of cancers, and yes, STIs. If you decide to go for a pelvic exam and haven't had one before (or just dread it—welcome to the club!) Loanzon recommends telling your provider so they're cognizant that you might be a little skittish.

Here's what you can expect for your first screening. "You'll have a pelvic exam or a urine test [or both]," says Dr. Loanzon. "You'll be screened for gonorrhea and chlamydia in a urine test or with a swab, and there will likely be blood testing to scan for HIV, Hepatitis B and C, and syphilis," Loanzon details. (Good news: If pelvic exams freak you out, urine tests can be quite accurate on their own, she says.)

At any point of the exam or screening, you are fully entitled to tell your doctor that you're feeling uncomfortable or would rather see someone else, she emphasizes. And if you're feeling extra nervous before or during a pelvic exam, Loanzon suggests practicing deep yoga breaths to relax the pelvic floor—it will also enable your provider to be more efficient.

Much to my surprise, I got a positive STI diagnosis recently. I'm single—is my love life over? I don't think I could face any new partner with this information.

I didn't grasp just how normal it is to contract STIs or that a positive diagnosis didn't mean the end of your love life as you know it. Both my health class teacher and pop culture suggested that after contracting an STI you may as well pack up and ready yourself for a life of solitude. Become a plant lady, whatever.

The truth? More than one million STIs are acquired everyday worldwide, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). Can certain behaviors—like intravenous drug use—expose you to a higher risk of contracting one? Absolutely. But that doesn't condone or explain the negative stigma that commonly follows a diagnosis. "In the U.S., sex is still taboo to talk about," says Loanzon.

Our collective pearl clutching has created an opportunity for stereotypes to thrive, explains Loanzon. In pop culture, contracting an STI is frequently portrayed as a laughing matter, or wished on someone you don't like—a positive diagnosis is something shameful that requires the utmost discretion. I'll go out on a limb and say that this type of assigned shame means that many people conceal their symptoms or diagnoses, which then results in the spreading of STIs. Just sayin'.

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